


Memories in his Face

by notreallyremus



Series: Sirius character studies [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Gen, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-09 00:48:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17396930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notreallyremus/pseuds/notreallyremus
Summary: A short character study. Sirius arrives at Godric's Hollow to find the Potters' house destroyed.





	Memories in his Face

Sirius stares at the rubble of his best mate’s house and for a few moments he doesn’t know how to feel. He is shocked, some part of him already grieving for his friends when the guilt crashes down. _This didn't have to happen,_ he thinks. _I did this. This was my fault._ James and Lily, dead, and little Harry must have been killed with them. His heart aches as he thinks of them, the memories so real and so close that he thinks he can even hear Harry's cries in the bitter silence of the night.

He shakes off reminiscence; there will be time enough for that later, now he has to find Peter if it is the last thing he does. He must find him and exact payment for the deaths of their friends. In their deaths as in their lives, Sirius would be loyal to the end. As he returns sharply to the present moment he realises that Harry's crying had not been mere memory - somewhere near him a child is wailing, and he barely dares to think _it could be Harry. He could have survived._ He, _might not have noticed a sleeping baby._

Whether the child is Harry or not, he is clearly alone and upset in the remains of Lily and James' home. Sirius walks toward the cries and his eyes fill with tears when he finds, miraculously, that Harry survived. Vengeance could wait. Peter could wait, mourning could wait; Sirius' duty is clear. This is his godson, entrusted to Sirius' care by his closest friend ("In case You-Know-Who gets us, Padfoot. I need to know he'll be safe.") and all else can wait. Sirius holds Harry close to himself as he wonders where they can possibly go that would give them a chance.

He doesn't realise that he is crying now, has no idea how long he stands there with Harry in his arms recalling happier days and trying to avoid the gaping emptiness that opened in his chest when he saw that the house was destroyed. This is what he does know: all that now matters in his world is held in his arms, clothes covered in dust and a gash on his forehead that will certainly scar.

"We'll go away together, Harry," he says at last, surprised at the hoarseness of his voice. "I don't know where, but I'll find somewhere. You'll see. We'll be safe, and you'll be happy. I'll love you for all three of us; you'll always know what they were like and how much they loved you. You can't imagine the look on your dad's face when you were born. You'll never have to, I'll make sure you know. I'll make sure-"

The stream of promises - made as much to himself and his dead friends as to his godson - dies abruptly as an enormous hand touches his shoulder.


End file.
